Mumbai madness

Matt is here! Mumbai better watch out! Hahahaha. That is a joke. Rather, Matt is finding out he is about as internationally savvy as a little white Bo-peep sheep. The one with the pink bow on it. If you know the joke, then you know what I mean. All I have to do is turn around and it's like: "whooosh, what was that?. It will probably hurt later." This place is the Hoover of dollars. Schemes abound to drive a wedge between you and your dollars. Between you and any plans placing dots on a map culled from Lonely Planet by careful planning the night before. And I mean planning at 3 am because the walls seem to close in when you realize that's the only reality of familiarity. How Awesome!

How Mumbai can exist is a miracle. Dirt is mingled with pavement is mingled with mud. Glass and steel storefronts wedge between 4 ft by 5 ft stalls. Vendors line the sidewalk inches from taxis and trucks with only horns keeping the lanes and the entire traffic system from complete chaos. Oh, it's chaos. Just not complete, triple-X chaos. This Mumbai is slow entropy. You can watch it like sitting on a Yosemite cliff watch the granite break away one feldspar, one quartz, one olivine at a time. You know it's going to destruction. But somehow, the erosion just keeps on going, going, going...

What I like best? Thank you for asking! Walking down the street and some dude siddles up next me, all innocent, and we start talking. "You know the Jain temple up the road? It's the 40th year rotation for this festival. Follow me, we go see it." After walking 20 minutes to who knows where (just trust the universe) I walk into a Jain creatatorium. Of course Peter knows the crematorium overseer (my words aren't working now). So I get the "special tour." However, this is really for real. Families are in progress of creamating relatives. I am asked to be respectful, in return I can make photos. I can't upload any because this internet cafe has no provision. But let's just say that the heat from burning human is quite intense. Tears don't really make it past eyelashes. Hindu and Jain philosophy - just the part of life, bury the ashes, plant a mango tree over the ashes, the tree bears fruit, the people eat the fruit, the people are nourished. Capiche?

Now the circle is not complete until all three of us reach the back of the crematorium. That's where I am asked for a donation, so the poor people can afford the wood and facilities that the well-off can easily afford. Wouldn't you know. 2,000 rupees later, I am the fuck outta there! Third lesson in two days and I'm sure it won't stop there. PAY ATTENTION or you will be in the slum before one week is out.

Hey, other than that, everything is like San Francisco would be if it had 18,000,000 people smashed on top of each other.

Well, I'm off to see how much trouble buying an international calling card will be. I expect worse than buying used cars from Slick Freddy in Antioch.

Merry Christmas at 85 degrees and 80% humidity.

Cheers Love Namaste Matt what am I doing here Soby

Could have had a mai-tai in Hawaii