Where's Sponge Bob?

I feel like Sponge Bob Square Pants. One exception: Instead of little sponge holes, I have little rupee and USD signs printed all over me. Well anyway, such is the way of the way of the world.

I have no idea where I last left off. But I don't think you've heard of my typings of Goa. I'm talking "THE GOA" of hippies, free sex, drugs drugs, and rock and roll. Except with the latest spate of terrorism, the Goan government has cracked down on the hippies, clubs staying open past 10pm, no drugs or you get seriously screwed, no free sex anymore (gotta go to other countries for that now - the USA is your best bet). It's mostly a nice place to vacation for families and foreign couples looking to hide out under the beach umbrellas and get ayurvedic massages. Hey, not to bad.

The ironic realization? You, sitting there right now, can have the (almost) exact experience! No $2,000 airfare or breathing liquid dust for weeks. Just hop into your car and speed on over to Santa Cruz. I was amazed at the similarity - a bit Santa Cruz mixed with a bit more Caribbean and this is Goa. I liked it. Now, some experiences you can not get in Santa Cruz: My biggest enjoyment was floating in the sea. Wait. This is the Arabian Sea. Waaaay Awesome. The Arabian Sea. I thought of all the craziness and tragedy that has transpired in these waters. Yet these same waters, at that moment, were providing enjoyment for a few thousand people.

The other very Goan experience are the bamboo restaurants that are built to within 500 or 1,000 feet of the surf. I can have breakfast, lunch, dinner, and lots of beers while watching the waves and tides flow in and out. And really, that's mostly what Goa has up its sleeve. Oh yeah, I had a very tasty burger at this on joint (hahahaha) on the cliff. In Goa, apparently any food is not off limits.

That's Hot. Paris is my binkie

The way of the world my friends.

LET THEM EAT CAKE

Where next

The past first:
Mumbai
Pune
Aurangabad
Ellora
Ajanta
Aurangabad to get to...
Pune to get to...
Mumbai to get to...
Goa
Bangalore to get to...
Mysore
Bangalore to get to...
Delhi to get to...

Then I said "I've had enough of the south, I'm going north, CA doesn't have the Himalaya.
Patna to get to...
Gaya to get to...
Bodhgaya
Varanasi
Agra
Jaipur
Haridwar to get to...
Rishikesh for a long time
Delhi to get to...
USA to get to...
In-N-Out

Some tata humor

These may be the most humongous TATA's you have ever seen. They come in pairs. No two are the same. And if you get too close to inspect these goods, hey, you've been warned. The upper TATA is more ornately decorated and I found it to be of a model. It is a three-axle TATA so it can carry more non-discriminatory goods. Now the lower model is a bit understated, a two-axle model, made to carry fewer, but specialized, goods. Both drivers are very very proud of their TATAs.

Lower than lowest. But I had to do it. I just had to.

At this point in time

Let's just call it "at this point in time" because I just said FAAHCK IT about time here. Certain people will understand this to their bone marrow. Now I understand this to my bone marrow. Add to this the noise, more noise, constant noise, Lonely Planet suggesting the rooms in the back are quieter, wear ear plugs - well guess what - it's all a load of bull crap. And I have the video to prove it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I've gone nutso. I have dust up in the conch of my ear that even three hot/cold whatever temperature shower I can, when I can one, won't wash out that permacorundumdust. I just invented a new element. Not even q-tips help!

I can now see why so many religions exist in India - you have to turn yourself to something internal, universal, transient, or else the flesh would just vibrate itself into jelly. I am reminded of that scene in Airplane 2. Oy vey.

tendon. The trucks and Horns. Horns. Horns. Horns. Whistles. Whistles. Whistles. Whistles. I don't even know what sound is coming to bring me to my maker. And let me tell you, India, even the bicycles have right-of-way. Frisco bike Nazis would LOVE it here. The rickshaws will tear off your Achilles tendon, hope you have death and dismemberment insurance.

Time is of no consequence here. Two months. Wow, that's a long time. Two months. 1/6 of a year. One month in and I'm ready to run for the hills, get me to a monastery. Just hang out and do yoga. I think JD's idea of "nesting" is sounding lovely right about now.

If there are any bets about Matt: 1) never returning from India, or 2) how long Matt will last in India.

Answer: 1) definitely will return to the USA. Hopefully, at a minimum to outrun the liquid below the waist syndrome. Haven't broken into the Cypro yet. Some fellow Western travellers say hold off until you really x's 3 need it because it a gnarly dam damn of a blocker.

Answer: 2) I can not lie (well I can, just not well) that In-n-Out sounds exquisite. I could be like Cleopatra and lounge in a bathtub of #1 Animal Style, no tomato. But I tell my weak flesh, you can doooo eeet.

Time.

Shrikant and Niyati

The Maharashtrian wedding. Now that was spectacular. 3 days - that I know of - of preparation. An Indian classical concert the night before. Apparently the vocalist is a famous Indian singer, probably 750,000 Indians know of him, and Shri likes his music. I don't remember this man's name - he just happens to be Niyati's family's friend. Awesome when it works out like that. Of course the tabla, sitar, Indian accordian and vocals were hypnotic - apparently the entire crowd enjoyed the performance.
The next day, the actual wedding, let's just say it was all 24-karat gold robes, mehendi, 5 outfit changes, fire, tying knots in rope - well I think Niyati and Shri were tied together by the priest and their parents - to symbolise their future together. Colors of yellow, red, pink, blue, gold, green. It is a swirl of intricate steps leading to the exact moment when the Hindu astrological calendar of Shri and Niyati overlap - between 1144 and 1148 am - that's when the final event takes place and they are married. Oh yeah, and venue has to be available that day as well!

I wish Niyati and Shrikant the best of fortune and luck. Hope your heads didn't get banged together too hard!

Q-tip girl

Even if I don't need q-tips, when in Mumbai, when the q-tip girl walks into traffic selling q-tips for 10Rs, I buy q-tips. I may not even use the q-tips.
One wish: I wish my brain were faster.
If you can't help them all, and helping one doesn't matter, what does matter? I just didn't like it. So there.
It's a pretty harsh world out there. Yet it is beautiful. Well, maybe, all you need is dollars.